SideC and the Divide...Now and When

This is a continuation of the general discussion of A, B, C, D, E which can be found on the main page about the Divide (in beliefs and in methods) and of this mysterious thing called Side C, originally given a name by Bob Buehler and added meaning by Alicia Baldridge in a simple but wonderful diagram. We were talking about the fact that one loses something in simply depicting A, B, and C on a "left-right" continuum, i.e.,

for there is an evolution in time which changes the relationship between the two sides. Bob Buehler then offered his diagram with the arrows, and this inspired the madscientist to create a sketch for which the vision originally came over a year ago. So, without any further introduction, here it is, and the explanation (from the journeys list discussion) appears below it:

If you click on the diagram it goes to a really HUGE version that shows the details but takes long to download.

I also have done a lot of thinking about side-c, and it comes particularly from my dissatisfaction with the theology of both sides, in that neither entirely rings true to me, neither establishes its position in a way that maintains the wholeness I see as being most helpful for relatedness with God. Along with all the others, there is a type of side-c which says, "maybe both side-a and side-b are asking the wrong questions, and God is really Other than both." Mixed in with this is another type of c-ness that says, "I have studied and prayed a lot and have respect for the complexity of this issue, and while I have a conviction as to which interpretation is correct, I cannot impute to it an absolute certainty." Such admission I have found at times scary and quite freeing -- it liberates me to entrust myself and others more fully unto God, and to be open to growth.

I detailed some aspects of this in my intro when I wrote of considering the well-being of the whole person rather than reducing the validity of life to one issue. Some principles which figure into this include "if your eye offends thee..." (willing to relinquish something cherished if the cost would be the whole person; Matt. 5:27-30), "wheat and tares" (sometimes better to leave things to be sorted out later lest the whole not survive our attempts to correct the parts; Mat. 13:24-30), "never knew you" (maybe it's more important Whom you know than how precisely you believe; Mat 7:20-23), and "to him it is sin" (how we act upon our beliefs cannot be separated from what we believe; 1Cor. 8:1-13), and "what is that to you" (I'm asked to do my own homework and leave others' journey in His hands; John 21:19-23). Finally, much of my c-ness is rooted in the belief that relationships, rather than theological or philosophical precisions, are what will be of the greatest eternal consequence (John 13:34, John 15:1, 2John 5) (John 15:12-17, 1John 3:11, John 17:21-23) -- the latter being a kind of central scripture for my life.

More personal background later. Here's how I see the "transcendent" dimensions of side-c playing out in bringing healing in the culture war. It's very difficult to describe, and what I have is a picture. When I first "saw" it last year, I planned to find some representative natural scene that pictured it for me (better than my ability to sketch), but I got distracted and never got to it. After attempting unsuccessfully to "draw" it in this email, I ended up sketching it roughly by hand and scanning it in:

http://www.bridges-across.org/ba/divide_nowandwhen.htm

Essentially it is a picture for the entire landscape of how I believe and hope things will evolve over time. Side-a and side-b are vast, plateaued lands separated by a great chasm, a perilous crevice which is almost impossible to navigate. Those who cross from one side to the other pay dearly in labours of fear and pain, and some who undertake that path (for whatever reason and in whatever direction) do not survive. But here's how the scene unfolds. There are uncharted territories down the length of these lands, and as one travels along them, one finds the floor of the valley rising to meet the plateau-- the crack becomes less deep, and not only can people on both sides more freely talk to one another, they can even visit, and exchange with one another particular minerals and foods which each of them in isolation sorely lacked. The move in that direction is accompanied by an increase of "E-ness" but it is much more than that, for sacrificial E-ness was still quite possible across the chasm-- it entails a more essential transformation, through wisdom and faith, of the Divide itself. The two lands remain, but each becomes more fertile, and the region between is no longer a vault of death, but a rich valley of inspired discovery and growth. The Divide is no longer destructive.

I saw all this during the Spring of 1998, and it was a result of my own perilous journey. Having joined Bridges only half a year before and attempting to integrate a vast amount of information and personal input while in the midst of a sort of crisis (brewing since 1994) regarding the ministry I do, I was propelled off the cliff and for a while declared myself side B/C, admitting to very few that I was really C/B. During that period which lasted, interestingly enough, the entire season of Lent (about 2 months), I sensed that what God was asking me to do was to relinquish unto Him everything I "knew" about the theology of sexuality that had been of such consequence in my life (for it required me, amid my sga, to embrace an indefinite celibacy). What He was asking was for me to allow the entire structure of belief to hang in midair. It was incredibly exciting, painful, frightening, and inspiring. What I kept "hearing" over and over in prayer was, "My love for you is so much greater than your theology about Me!!!" And though the side I ended up on was the Land of B (B-ville?), it is not the same place where I was before. Navigating the abyss brought me closer to the valley, so where I live is paradoxically different yet closer, truer to the Reality which is glorious and as yet beyond comprehension.

Love,
Sonia