Various Exchanges with SteveS

SteveS and Gary

Date: Sat, 4 Apr 1998
To: Journeys and Faith lists
From: Steve Schalchlin
Subject: SteveS answers Gary

Gary: Steve, I told you I could somehow relate to what it feels like to be estranged by religious beliefs. Now, if you wish, could you please explain again how this bothers you so much.

SteveS: Gary, I hear you trying to understand me as much as I'm trying to understand you. I appreciate this. Perhaps I can put it this way -- and again, this is only MY journey....

SteveS and Sandi

Date: Thu, 2 Apr 1998
To: Journeys List
From: Steve Schalchlin
Subject: Re: Following Jesus

Sandi: SteveS is preaching that *all* ex-gay ministries are evil and that allowing a young person to hear *any* interpretation of the Bible that says same-gender behavior is wrong is evil. Hearing SteveS' interpretation of the Bible is then the only correct one! This is what Maggie calls "the mirror image."

SteveS: I do not believe exgay ministries are evil -- a "thing" is not evil. I believe the people in them are misguided and wrong both in their interpretation of scripture and how it should be applied.

Sandi: Steve, I think there is middle ground!

SteveS: Sandi, I do too. The fundamentalist mind does not. That's not a criticism. It's a fact. When I left the world of fundamentalist literalism, I actually was not aware that there was a choice besides all or nothing in regards to "literal" interpretation of the Bible -- which is not literal at all, by the way.

Sandi: Finally, a personal note. I had never met Tom Cole until I went to the GLSEN conference last weekend. [...] *Not once* did he pull me aside and say, "Ya know, I can tell you are a Christian, but your life will never be right until you repent of homosexuality."

SteveS: I believe you. I'm afraid that my strong thoughts here have also misled people into thinking that I am the type who would treat sideB people (in person) any way except with the most courteous respect and love. I know the pain they have faced and still face. I hear in their words a desire to do good and to help others and to heal. I do not deny this.

But, I believe that salvation is evidenced not through words or even belief, but through action. A child of God is known by what he does and how he treats others. There are those who have "accepted the Lord" according to the cC rules but who have no trace of salvation in their souls -- Fred Phelps' group is the best example offhand. They prove that they are not Christians through their words and deeds. But I guarantee you they've "accepted Jesus as their personal savior." So how come they're not "saved?"

Perhaps it's more than that. Perhaps it's less. My parents are cC. They are the most loving people I know. And they've never treated anyone with anything less than love and dignity. To me, that's Christianity.

Steve talking about ex-gays

Date: Fri, 3 Apr 1998
To: Journeys List
From: Steve Schalchlin
Subject: Re: Journey of Ken McPherson

.... I am listening. I speak loudly and carry a large hearing aid. Long ago I made the statement that unless we were moving in the direction of making policies that would open the gates of equality for gay people, then this whole conversation was a complete waste of time.

Maggie has somewhat implied that the exgays are changing their perspective from one of antagonism of happily gays to something else. If one goes to the websites of the cC and CC exgays, there is not a trace of this happening, SteveC's notwithstanding. But then bigotry and hate do not heal overnight.

At this point in time, I consider exgay ministries to be aberrant and ultimately ridiculous -- except for the hurt souls that populate them who are trying desperately to find peace and security in their lives. Having been filled with pain and hurt myself, I bleed for them and want to caress them with loving acceptance for their journey.

At the very least, they remind all of us how painful it is to grow up gay in this Victorian CC subculture bubble we call the USA. That they are throwing themselves into the arms of this demonic theology to heal the wounds CAUSED by that theology is even more painful to me.

Ah, but I'm preaching again, aren't I? Please forgive this errant sinner. It would appear I'm Tom Cole's mirror; not SteveC's.