The Sides of the Divide

The first thing you’ll notice about B-A is that we talk a lot about the “sides”—sideA, and sideB.

To put the difference in simple, perhaps overly simple terms: SideB believes that gay/homosexual sex is immoral. SideA by contrast believes that gay/homosexual sex is morally equal to heterosexual sex.

To put matters more precisely:

SideA believes that the sex/gender of the partners in a relationship or sexual act does not affect the moral status of the relationship or act.

SideB, in contrast includes those who believe that the sex/gender of the partners in a relationship or sexual act is morally relevant. In particular, they believe that same-sex relationships and sexual acts are immoral, and/or they fall short of God’s ideal. They generally believe that people should either have sexual relations within the context of a heterosexual marriage, or they should abstain from sexual relations completely.

We use these labels of Sides A and B in order to create a level playing field for discussion. For example, if we called sideA “pro-gay”, that by implication puts sideB in the position of being “anti-gay”. But many do not see themselves as being anti-gay at all, especially if the label “anti-gay” is construed as meaning anti-gay-people. Similarly, many on sideB see their position as the “Christian” or “family values” position. But many on sideA believe do not feel the implication that their side is either anti-Christian or anti-family to be fair or accurate.

So we created our own neutral terminology to describe the two positions, one on each side of the divide we are attempting to bridge here.

We use the label “Side C” to refer to those of us who are either unsure of their position, or who do not feel comfortable defining their views one way or the other. Sometimes you will see people using “Side C-ish” as a modifier describing a sideA or sideB position. “C-ish” generally means an openness to the possibility that different paths are appropriate for different people. So a side C-ish sideA person might feel that although they believe gay relationships are fine for themselves or for the majority, that an ex-gay or celibate path might be right for some people. A sideC-ish sideB person, then, would be someone who feels that although gay relationships would be wrong for them, or in most cases, that that path might be right for some people.