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Email: legolas at (BA Web Forums Admin)

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Confidentiality Pledge
Participants in the BA webforums must agree to rules governing their conduct on the webforums. The first rule is presented on the Orange registration page.  Participants must agree to the following pledge.

These Forums are confidential and copyrighted. Access to our Forums is available to Members only. By agreeing to our Terms and Conditions you are promising to keep any and all posts found within in complete confidence. IF YOU FIND SOMETHING USEFUL THAT YOU WISH TO SHARE ELSEWHERE, YOU MUST OBTAIN PERMISSION FROM THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR BEFORE DOING SO. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Those submitting a registration request at the orange page will receive automatic email asking them to reply with the username and password.  Then a person will verify that the info from the website request matches the info from the email confirmation.

Webforum Rules
After the email confirmation has been received and processed, the registrant will receive email explaining that now he/she will be able to read the webforums and that a second registration for posting to the forums will be necessary. Registering to post leads to a page titled: Rules, policies, and disclaimers   

The page begins: "If you agree to abide by our rules below, please press the Agree button, which will enable you to register on this message board. If you do not agree to these terms, press the Cancel button."

1. Be Respectful: We encourage the reader of each post to read with an open mind. Because we often use different language, please use care in responding in order to not jump to the wrong conclusions.

2. Use "I Statements": Even if you feel that this is more than just your feeling or opinion but, instead, a fact or the Truth, you should still avoid declaring your beliefs or opinions as dogmatic facts.

3. Don't Generalize: As a rule, individuals tend to think their experiences are similar or valid for everyone. Keep in mind that this list will include people from wildly different life experiences and world views. Any generalizations promoted will probably anger or offend others. Often, generalizations will prove to be wrong as well.

4. Don't Attack: Criticism is one thing, personal attacks are another. Personal attacks of other Forum Members are out of place regardless of what one may think of a given personal opinion. This doesn't mean that we cannot discuss experiences -- but the discussions must occur within a respectful framework. Flame Wars will NOT be tolerated!

5. Be Honest: There is no need to pretend to be other than who you are. If you state something, out of respect for others on the list, please be honest. If you prefer to withhold something, please respect those who share in a way that is vulnerable.

6. Minimize thread drift.  Place your thread in the most appropriate forum.  Choose a title which clearly describes the subject of your thread.  Stick to the topic of a thread or create a new one.

This page has buttons for "agree"  or "cancel."

Bridges-Across Principles

Our charter statement, How We Agree does not contain "rules" for forum participants. Rather, it outlines a set of principles that go beyond the BA rules for forum participation.   These principles are guidelines or goals which we attempt to model in our participation in the forums.

First of all, we are unanimous in the view that every individual human being is of immeasurable worth.

Some of us (but not all) would put that in theological terms: made in the divine image, an object of God's infinite love, etc. But however we phrase it, we are agreed that every person is of great value.

Secondly, we agree that is wrong to mistreat anyone or to promote mistreatment of anyone. We find common moral ground on the question of whether or not it is right for any person to be harassed, intimidated, insulted, beaten, ridiculed, humiliated or murdered. Whatever our views on sexual morality, we believe all such behavior is wrong. Those of us who are Christians would agree that wherever such things happen, Jesus stands with the outcasts. We share concerns, from different perspectives, for the safety and future of the most vulnerable among us, our children.

Thirdly, we recognize that for dialog to be fruitful, those who engage in it must be prepared to listen carefully and with respect, as well as to be listened to. We value the process of dialog, of conversation. We refuse to presume that nothing can be learned from someone whose experience or opinion is different from our own.

Fourthly, while we have "agreed to disagree" on some matters, and therefore do not expect to change each others' minds, we are united in the desire to change many people's attitudes. We deplore the demonization of one group of people by another, and especially public and political attacks. We find sweeping generalized statements, whether about "the homosexual agenda" on the one hand, or about the "Religious Right" on the other, to be decidedly unhelpful.

Part of our goal in dialog is to model ways of addressing the issues without resorting to extreme and emotionally charged rhetoric, even when our feelings and opinions are very strong. We have agreed to abandon intentionally hateful speech, which can lead to or legitimize violence and ridicule. Part of the process of dialog is learning how speech that is not intended to be hateful can sound that way.

We are agreed that care must be taken in the use of language, because many cultural differences that have grown up on the opposite sides of this divide are reflected in the choice of words that are used.

We are learning that words which seem simple and straightforward to one group can seem terribly "loaded" to another. We are working to discover why this is so, and to educate one another and be educated so that a clearer understanding of the language that we use can form the basis of further discussions.

Together, we hope that this bridges-across project will demonstrate a working model for respectful,thoughtful dialog that can be useful as a resource for creative action wherever the divide appears.

Finally, we are agreed, based on the immeasurable worth of every human being, that one of the most important things we can do is provide a safe space for persons to tell their own stories. We value the creation of relationships of trust, even across this divide. It is the establishment of such relationships that allows all our stories to be told.


On the Journeys forum and Journeys page, we tell our stories. Some of us have decided to leave homosexual behavior and identity behind - - perhaps we found that our sexual attractions and fantasies also changed. Others have worked at ways to affirm our homosexuality in a society that can be intolerant. And some of us tried to move away from homosexuality and then came to the conclusion that we should embrace it as intrinsic to our identity. 

Some of us who deal with conflicts between gender-identity and biological gender and choose to change our biological gender - others choose not to. 

Some of us are family and friends of people who are dealing with sexuality and gender- identity issues. 

Given that stories are very individual but important personal experiences, most likely you will begin to get a glimpse into each storyteller's world view. For many this world view involves a strong sense of faith, and for others it it does not. Don't be surprised to hear about changes in world view -- including religious beliefs -- in our journeys to deal with sexuality and gender issues. 

We have strong opinions about the topics being discussed and we value the creation of relationships of trust, even across this divide. It is the establishment of trusting relationships that allows all our stories to be told. 

There is great potential for this forum to be informative as well as useful in building bridges between Side A and Side B. Have a good time! 


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